bob ong's masterpiece

"Kung dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung mahal mo talaga yung una."

"Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..."

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."

"Huwag na huwag ka hahawak kapag alam mong may hawak ka na."

"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

"Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."

"Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal...nakakatakot mahulog...at kapag nahulog ka, it's either by accident or talagang tanga ka.."

"Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang."

"Hiwalayan na kung di ka na masaya. Walang gamot sa tanga kundi pagkukusa."

"Pag hindi ka mahal ng mahal mo wag ka magreklamo. Kasi may mga tao rin na di mo mahal pero mahal ka.. Kaya quits lang.

"Huwag magmadali sa babae o lalaki. Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong hindi pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakakalibog ito. Totong mas mahalaga ang kalooban ng tao higit sa anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan nagmumukha ding pandesal, maniwala ka."

"Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

“Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala”

“Hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohan, at hindi lahat ng hindi mo kayang intindihin ay kasinungalingan”

"Pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sa iyo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Wag mong hintayin ang araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo."

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang mga taong malalapit sa iyo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa."

"Minsan kahit ikaw ang nakaschedule, kailangan mo pa rin maghintay, kasi hindi ikaw ang priority."

"Mahirap pumapel sa buhay ng tao. Lalo na kung hindi ikaw yung bida sa script na pinili nya."

"Kung nagmahal ka ng taong di dapat at nasaktan ka, wag mong sisihin ang puso mo. Tumitibok lng yan para mag-supply ng dugo sa katawan mo. Ngayon, kung magaling ka sa anatomy at ang sisisihin mo naman ay ang hypothalamus mo na kumokontrol ng emotions mo, mali ka pa rin! Bakit? Utang na loob! Wag mong isisi sa body organs mo ang mga sama ng loob mo sa buhay! Tandaan mo: magiging masaya ka lang kung matututo kang tanggapin na hindi ang puso, utak, atay o bituka mo ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyari sayo, kundi IKAW mismo!"

a phone call

it was 6 in the morning when my mom called.. it was not for me but i still manage to get up to answer it.. after a minute of talkng, my mom asked if she can talk to my tita.. since i was really sleepy, i gave her the fone and go back to bed.. but then i can't go back to sleep.. i was not fond of listening to other's conversation, syempre alam ko na di maganda un.. pero kahit di ko sinasadya, there's something na narinig ko pa rin eh.. it's like this:

"masaya ka na.. makakagraduate na bunso mo, wala ka naman mapala sa panganay mo eh"

wew.. sino nga ba panganay saming magkapatid?? as far as i can remeber, ako yata.. ano ba pwede ko maramdaman after hearing those words?? haha, wala.. ang saya nga eh.. damn it!! sana mamatay na lang ako.. wew.. baka maging masaya pa sila..

your body is a wonderland by john mayer..

it has been released a long time ago..
i don't know but something in it makes me go crazy right now..
damn!! i really love this song..
how i wish, a guy could do me a song as sweet as this one..


We got the afternoon,
You got this room for two,
One thing I've left to do,
Discover me,
Discovering you.

One mile to every inch of,
Your skin like porcelain,
One pair of candy lips and,
Your bubblegum tongue.

Cause if you want love,
We'll make it,
Swim in a deep sea,
Of blankets,
Take all your big plans,
And break 'em,
This is bound to be a while.

Your body is a wonderland,
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands),
Your body is a wonderland.

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face,
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase,
You tell me where to go and,
Though I might leave to find it,
I'll never let your head hit the bed,
Without my hand behind it.

You want love,
We'll make it,
Swim in a deep sea,
Of blankets,
Take all your big plans,
And break 'em,
This is bound to be a while.

Your body is a wonderland,
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands),
Your body is a wonderland.

Damn baby,
You frustrate me,
I know you're mine, all mine, all mine
But you look so good it hurts sometimes.

Your body is a wonderland,
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands),
Your body is a wonderland,
Your body is a wonderland.

soul searching..

i dont know what's into me.. ang hirap ng buhay.. ang dami ko naiisip.. ang daming problems.. those kind of problems that i'm trying to laugh with pero di ko na makayang tawanan.. nagbago na ba ko?.. nagiging weak na ba talaga ko? siguro.. baka nga tama sila..

dati, kaya kong dalhin lahat.. when i say lahat, i mean lahat.. madali lang tawanan eh.. nakakaya ko ipakita na di ako apektado.. ang galing ko nga.. siguro kung may pinakaplastic na tao sa mundo, ako na yun.. kahit yung mga bagay na ikamamatay ng iba, balewala lang sakin.. walang nakakakita na umiiyak ako.. na nasasaktan ako.. na mahina ako..

ayoko sa lahat eh yung kinakaawaan.. awayin mo na ko, murahin mo na ko, pagtawanan mo na ko, matatanggap ko un, pero ang kaawaan ako? damn!! makakapatay ako ng tao..

pero anong nangyayari ngayon? para akong tanga.. andito sa harap ng monitor habang umiiyak.. sa loob ng computer shop na punong puno ng customer.. ng mga taong di ko kakilala.. hinahayaan ko silang makita na umiiyak ako? nasisiraan na talaga ako ng ulo.. di naman ako dating ganito.. isang salita lang nasasaktan na.. kaya kong lumaban.. kaso bakit ganito? di pa nga masakit masyado ung mga narinig ko umiiyak na ko? ang drama ko masyado.. kung makikita ako ng mga kaibigan ko na ganito, malamang mabatukan nila ako.. di kasi ganito ung pagkakakilala nila sakin.. di ako iayakin..

nagbabago na ba talaga ako? kung oo, sana mamatay na lang ako.. ayoko ng ganito.. ayokong magbago.. gusto ko ung dating ako..

words of wisdom from ma'am abie..

napulot ko lang to.. post din kasi ni ma'am abie to sa blogsite nya.. it's cute.. actually it touches a part of my heart.. read it guys.. sana may matutunan kayo, same ng natutunan ko.. :)

Ganun pala talaga, dati-rati nagtataka ako kung bakit ni minsan hindi naisip ng nanay ko na hiwalayan ang tatay ko kahit na hindi siya perfect husband, mahirap pala talaga maging misis. Na-appreciate ko na ang nanay ko at naunawaan kung bakit nagtagal sila ng tatay ko hanggang ngayon.

Totoo rin pala na kahit anong ganda pa ng sapatos mo, pag napagod ka, hahanap-hanapin mo pa rin ang comfort na naibibigay sa 'yo ng tsinelas.

Uuwi at uuwi ka pa rin sa asawa mo pagkatapos mong maglagalag. Hahanapin mo ang luma mong tsinelas, kasi kumportable ka na sa kanya. Alam na niya ang baho mo, lahat ng mga sikreto mo. At lahat 'yun tanggap niya. Dahil mahal ka niya, mahal na mahal.

the parable of the jar and coffee..

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and
empty Mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then
asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between
the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They
agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar
was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life."
"The golf balls are the important things - your spirituality, family, your
significant other, your children, your health, your friends, and your
favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they
remained, your life would still be full."
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house,
and your car."
"The sand is everything else - the small stuff."
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all
your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the
things that are important to you."
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner
out to dinner."
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set
your Priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee
represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that
no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of
cups of coffee with a friend."
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a
day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.

what's with the date?

june 22.. june 22 na pala.. i remember gerry castillo.. my bestfriend.. my so-called-bestfriend.. my "mhineybhest".. we should be celebrating our 5th year anniversary as bestfriends..

i miss him.. dami na kasing nagbago eh.. we're no longer the "teenager-bestfriends-of-all-time".. hanggang ngayon may tampo pa din ako sa kanya.. he's been my first love.. supposed to be my "only love" kung naalagaan lang.. kaso hindi eh..

since grade 5 minahal ko na si gerry.. sa picture ko pa lang sya nakita nun.. that time, 1st year high school na sya.. palagi akong tumatambay sa labas ng gate ng school namin pag malapit ng mag flag ceremony sa high school at pag malapit na mag 1 pm.. yan kasi yung mga time na dumadating si gerry.. palagi kasi syang late.. kala ko simpleng infatuation lang yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya, kasi nagkakaron din naman ako ng ibang mga crushes kaso yung kanya talaga yung di nawala..

nung mag highschool na ko, lalo ko sya nagustuhan.. cute kasi sya eh.. tahimik.. and matalino.. after ng graduation nya, dun kami naging close.. gumawa talaga ako ng paraan nun.. araw araw ko sya sinusulatan.. hanggang yun, nabuo ung friendship na di ko ineexpect.. kaso syempre mahal ko sya nung mga time na yan, so i want a relationship more than what we have.. kaso sabi nga ng iba, di daw natuturuan ung puso, in short di nya ko talaga kayang mahalin.. after nun, nagkaron na sya ng gf.. tanggap ko naman sana yun kahit masakit eh.. kaso dun kami talaga nagkalayo ng tuluyan.. and the last time we talked, siguro last year lang yun, nag-away kami,.. ayun, hanggang ngayon di na naayos,,. parang bigla nawala yung ilang years na pinagsamahan namin..

i miss him..

i miss my bestfriend..

happy 5th year friendship anniversary mhineybhest.. :(

trip to star city..

after ng board exam namin last june 1 and 2 we decided (me, kaye, ar ar and dianne) na mag star city to unwind, isinama ko si rob (para masaya hehe).. here are some of the pictures taken during our trip.. ung iba nasa friendster account ko na.. :)


snow world.. grabe yung experience namin dyan, hehe saya.. ilang beses din ako pinulikat kasi nakaslippers lang ako.. hahaha..



this one naman, sa labas ng gabi ng lagim, haaay halos maubos yung boses ko kakasigaw.. hahaha..


sa snow white.. actually ako lang yung may gusto pumasok dyan.. corny daw kasi sabi nila.. hahaha, pero san ka nag-enjoy naman sila sa pagkuha ng pics.. hehe



sa labas ulit ng gabi ng lagim.. magkaibang cam kasi ginamit namin.. sinamantala yung pagiging mabait nung bantay.. hehe


kami ni rob sa snow world.. hehehe, cute noh? lamig kasi eh..


nakapila kami sa bump car..



sa ferris wheel.. magpapahinga lang kami kasi napagod na kami sa paglalakad.. yun pala nakakahilo dyan.. hahaha, ang bagal kasi tapos ang likot pa namin..


sa ferris wheel pa din.. ang hirap kaya kumuha ng pics kasi ang hirap pagkasyahin ung mga mukha namin sa screen ng digicam.. hehehe



sa pambatang catterpillar.. as usual ako na naman may pakana.. hehe


kami ulit ni rob sa snow white..



nagpapahinga muna kami nyan kakapagod kasi eh..


sa catterpillar pa din.. di na sumakay si ar ar.. pangalawang beses na kasi kami sumakay nyan eh.. hihihi


pahinga pa din.. sbi ni kuya arjay sa comment nya sa friendster ko, ang cute ko daw syan.. hehehehe

comment from yam..

hi ervybody this is my yamyam..
ive known her since elementary.. that time she was the most cutest girl in school(ndi s ndi n xa cute ngayun).. anyweiz, nong 1st yir kami naging close kami lalo, kc nabuo ung barkada nmin nila ronald.. after graduation ng HS, nag iCp ako ng way para lng mag ka communication kami.. i pretend i want to learn ano ung feeling ng my gf, kaya i told her since wala p xa bf mag panggap nlng kami n kami muna tlga.. little did she know plan ko lng yun para mapalapit s knya lalo! (GALING KO TLAGA) eventually we became more than friends.. and boy i was happy! (wahihi).. until the day we broke up (men that hurts).. pinag hinalaan nya ko ng kung ano2 kc d ako nakapag xplain, for almost 3 yrs nwala communication nmin.. pero ngayun ayos n ulit kami as friends! i wont loose her twice in my lifetime..

tnx s friendship..
be happy..
be strong..

im always here..

respectfully yours,
yam

thank you!

enough of my heart-tearing love story.. now, I'm going to pay tribute to those people who never really left me.. those who were with me the time that I'm almost losing my sanity.. here they go:

YAM
vitorio chavez.. my yam.. meaning ng yam? (You Are Mine) hehehe.. sya yung ready makipagpuyatan sa kin para lang madivert yung attention ko.. he knows me when I'm faking my smile.. and he knows kung kelan ko kelangan ng makikinig sa kin.. kasama ko sya nung pinatumba namin yung isang accounting graduate.. hahaha.. di ko makakalimutan yung time na yun.. magkakampi kami eh.. sabagay, kahit naman saang bagay kakampi ko sya.. palagi lang syang nandyan para sa kin.. without him? yeah, i will be happy.. but with him? my happiness will have it's meaning..

BLOODZ
james darell alcantara.. my bloodz.. bakit bloodz? gangstah daw kasi kami.. hehehe.. he's been my classmate since grade 1.. hanggang 4th year high school magkasama kami.. (same with yam).. sya yung nagsabi sa kin ng "kapag pinaiyak ka ni rob, sabihin mo lang sa kin, ready ako kalimutan yung 4 years na pinagsamahan namin.. di ko pagpapalit yung 10 years na friendship natin.." hahaha, mayabang pakinggan pero sobrang nakakatouch! sya din ung binubulabog ko ng madaling araw pag umiiyak ako.. though he's really sleepy, pinipilit nya bumangon para lang pakinggan yung pag-iyak ko.. lumalabas pa sya ng house nila kasi walang signal sa room nya.. hehehe.. 4 years na walang communication sa kanya didn't change my life.. but, now that we're together again, happiness has never left me..

CRACKERZ
reggie alfhon ilandag.. my crackerz.. he's been with me since grade 6.. may pagkamayabang pero never ka naman nya iiwanan sa ere.. though hindi nya masyadong alam yung nangyari sa kin ngayon, palagi naman syang nandyan para magbigay ng advice.. he always tell me how important i am and palagi nya sinasabi sa kin how much i worth for him.. kahit di kami palaging nagkikita, hindi naman nawawala yung closeness namin.. my crackerz will always be my crackerz..

NHEY
jaycar este.. nhey ko.. (short for honey).. sabi nila nung 2nd year high school kami (yan yung time na lumipat sya sa school) naging crush na daw nya ko agad.. hehehe.. ngayon ko lang yun nalaman.. ang manhid ko ba? hehehe.. sabi kasi niya, nung time daw na manliligaw sya sa kin, naunahan sya ni gerald.. waaah,, medyo nakakabaliw yung confession nya.. kasi naman tropa talaga kami eh.. nag-aaway pa nga kami dati with this "industrialized-thing" (sana natatandaan nya pa)anyway, la din sya alam sa nangyayari ngayon sa kin, gusto nya kasi pag-usapan namin ng personal.. pero sobrang thankful ako sa kanya kasi sobrang napapasaya nya din ako talaga.. palagi nya pa ko pinagpepray.. and that's the most important thing he had gave me..

MICH
michelle dayday.. my cousin.. kahit di sya masyado nagbibigay ng comment tungkol sa mga nangyayari, sya naman yung kasama ko hanggang madaling araw.. nagkaron kami dati ng gap eh, pero ngayong naayos na daig pa namin magsister.. sobrang close.. minsan nga may mga nakukwento ako sa kanya na hindi alam ng kapatid ko.. ganyan kami kaclose.. being with her, grabe, sobrang nakakawindang.. ang hobby namin? magpuyat gang 2 am para lang magkwentuhan.. may mga times pa nga na pag maaga kami pinapatulog, bumababa pa din kami ng 12 am para lang kumain at magkwentuhan.. sa kanila kasi kami nakatira ngayon.. di kumpleto araw namin pag di kami nakapagtsismisan.. :)

SHE
sherry bell espineli.. my sis.. syempre kung close kami ni mich close din kami ng sis ko.. dalawa na nga lang kami tapos hindi pa kami close diba? ang panget naman nun.. between us, mas matured sya mag-isip.. kahit humawak ng pera, mas magaling sya.. pag kinocompare ako sa kanya, di ako nasasaktan.. unlike yung ibang magkapatid.. ang point ko kasi, magkapatid kami and walang reason para magalit sa kanya.. totoo naman kasi talaga na mas matured sya mag-isip at mas magaling sya maghandle ng situation.. hindi kasi sya padalos-dalos eh.. mag-iisip muna sya bago gumawa ng move,.. hehehe.. dati nga may theory kami ng kadorm namin na si badet.. ang sabi namin si she naman talaga yung panganay kaso nung dapat mabubuo na si she, akala ko magkakarera kami, eh since mataba si she naunahan ko sa pagtakbo kaya ako yung unang nabuo.. hahahaha.. astig diba?. ganda ng theory namin ni badet..

meron pang dalawang tao na hindi ako iniwan.. si jheng at si bhestbud mai.. kaso la ko mahanap na pics nila kaya wala ko malagay dito..

anyways, to these people, THANK YOU GUYS.. thank you for not leaving me.. and thank you for being with me in times of trouble.. di ko man mapakita how much you guys mean to me, sobrang pinahahalagahan ko po talaga kayo...

no chance for explanation..

Vitorio Chavez.. M.u M.U-han kami nung 1st year college hehe.. 6 months naging kami.. naghiwalay kami kasi nawalan kami ng communication.. ngayon na lang kami nabigyan ng chance na maging malapit ulit.. and ngayon lang nabigay sa kin yung explanation na matagal ko ng iniintay.. he texted me last april 13 para nga ibigay yung explanation na kinukulit ko sa kanya sice we became friends again.. here it goes:

contradict sa sinasabi mo kay jenilyn na one month ako di nagparamdam sayo, one week lang tayo di nakapagusap kundi man eh 1 week and 1 day siguro.. and sa 1 week na yun, WALA ako tinext o tinawagan, siguro nung nasa akin pa cp ko before ko isanla, un nakatext ko si jenifer.. well here goes my story..

nakwento ko na ba sayo dati na may sakit papa ko? bata pa lang sya nasa kanya na yun, may mga bukol sya sa iba't ibang parts ng katawan nya.. nung 2004 september na sched sya for surgery, kasi we found out na may bukol na din sa loob ng right ear nya.. it bleeds kapag gumagalaw sya masyado.. sa clinic sya nagwowork so may discount sya dun sa surgery, yung papadala nya for october nabawasan kasi nga ginamit nya din.. yung money na pinadala nya kulang, almost half lang ng normal na padala nya.

sinubukan ng mama ko na pagkasyahin yun pero eventually naubos din agad, almost half month pa lang ng october nun, ang ginawa ng mama ko nanghiram sya sa kung kanikanino ng pera para lang may magastos, she asked me kung pwede ko muna isangla yung cp ko non, ayoko pumayag kasi nga sa katapusan ko pa makukuha yun kapag sinanla.. almost everyday yung kinakain namin puro utang na.. ang naisip ko solution magdrop nalang muna ako, pero ayaw nila. 16 lang ako non thess, di ko alam kung pano ihandle yung ganong situation..

katapusan ng october non, kasi normal na padala ng papa ko tuwing 7, nagdecide ako na isanla muna yung cp ko, di ko na sinabi sa yo yung gagawin ko kasi 1 week lang naman, di ako humingi ng kahit magkano sa loob ng week na yun.. i thought kapag nakuha ko na yung cp ko tapos na explain ko na sayo you'll understand.. november 7 dumating yung padala ni papa, tapos 8 nakuha ko na yung cp ko.. i texted you nong hapon tapos nagreply ka nung gabi.. yun na nga yung nakikipagbreak ka..

i thought you'd give me a chance to explain pero the way you broke up i can tell di mo na din ako papakinggan. nung gabi na yun i felt like i made a really big mistake, i felt guilty kasi nga galit ka eh.. i wanted to talk to you para kahit pano gusto ko maging maayos tayo before we go separate ways.. i didn't wanna break up pero naisip ko, you don't deserve me thess, u deserve better, gusto ko iplease ka so bad pero love lang yung kaya kong ibigay eh.

i choosed not to tell you nalang the real reason, kasi baka kapag nalaman mo yung reason ko, parang maawa ka tapos makipagbalikan.. so i decided wag nalang muna ngayon, theres lots of guys na mas angat sa kin, na mas mabibigyan ka ng magandang relationship, and i really wanna see you happy.. u deserve it.. hirap non, almost every night i cried, yun lang magagawa ko eh.. at that time i really felt guilty sa nangyari sa tin, sayang yung friendship kaya nga gusto ko magsorry sayo non.. ngayon alam mo na ung sa friendster..

that's why daming sorry dun sa friendster ko, kulang isa eh.. and i really really loved you so much that time, gusto ko makipagbalikan pero anong mapapala mo sa kin? you'd be better off without me, tingnan mo sarili mo ngayon, you look great and happy so kahit papano di ako nagsisisi dun sa ginawa ko..

you can say that again.. it was like eating bubog for breakfast every single day.. lam mo nun, every night talaga i cry pero kapag umaga na, i wear my happy face para hindi mahalata ng mga tao yung sorrow ko.. like i said, di ako nagpapakita ng feelings ko.. di din ako nagkkwento...

yan ang story nya.. haay,, pinalagpas ko yung love nya no? sobrang nanghinayang ako sa feelings saka sa ganda ng relationship namin dati.. it was like we were bestfriends.. kapag kami magkasama sobrang comfortable.. totoo kami pareho sa mga ginagawa namin..

by the way may pahabol pa sya.. he said sa july 14 or 15, 2011 magpoproposed sya sa kin..well.... let's see..

run away..

yan ang drama ko kaninang madaling araw.. nagkasagutan kami ni mommy kanina.. naglayas ako..

nilakad ko simula sa house hanggang sa gate ng subdivision.. pagdating dun, nagtricycle ako papuntang bayan,.. then nilakad ko hanggang church of god.. buti na lang tulog ung mga tanod.. good thing hindi ako nacurfewhan..

sa church, nakita ako ni kuya ronnie.. sya ung guard dun nung time na un.. we talked.. then he prayed for me.. not knowing kung anong nangyayari sa bahay..

ayun, kinontak na pala nila lahat ng mga kaibigan ko na pwede ko puntahan.. cavite or manila, tinawagan nila.. they even called dhen.. akala daw kasi nila dun ako pupunta.. pati si rob tinawagan.. ayun.. umuwi din ako ng umaga.. umalis naman ung mom ko.. we didn't talk..

pag uwi nya ng hapon nagsorry ako.. as usual, ganon naman yata lahat ng mommy.. never matitiis ung anak.. and i heard iinvite yata nila si rob for dinner tomorrow... hmmm let's see what will happen..

sa lahat ng naistorbo ng mommy ko kanina madaling araw, sorry.. and thank you.. mwaaahhh

a poem from arman..

“Thank God”

Thank God for a friend
Who’s faithful and true
Who’s gentle and wise
Who comes when I call
A friend who remains
When dreams don’t come true
A friend who’s there
When there are tears in my eyes
You’ve been such a precious
And wonderful friend
You’ve always willing to share
And offer your helping hand
You’ve been lovely
So caring and dear
You’re world is lively
Full of comfort and cheer
You’re someone special
I admire and adore
The joy when I’m with you
I can’t just imagine
Oh how I thank God
For giving me a friend like you
And I want you to know
I will never leave you…………. 



-he made it for me,, alam nya talaga kung paano ako mapapasaya.. i love him.. i really love my friend..

after graduation..

life after graduation is a boredom.. no more laugh trips.. more serious things come.. i have to go to school for review.. i have to go home to read some more.. i have to sleep because same thing will happen tomorrow..

i miss my friends.. we have less time to talk.. less time for more chismis.. less time to be together..

this is life after graduation..

what more after the board exam?

far from my baby..

It's my baby yuri.. a present from dhen.. it was given during my last birthday (july 14)..

i'm supposed to put it beside my bed, but since we (me and my sis) share the same bed, putting yuri beside me was not possible.. so i decided to put it above my drawer..

but we just had a general cleaning last sunday.. why? because my mom will be coming from london and we don't want her to see our staff not in place.. my tita decided to put yuri inside a big box.. oh! im not going to see her again unless i want to pull her back from the box, which surely i won't do.. i miss her so much.. it's been 6 days since i last saw her.. the only thing that will allow me to see her is that we must have our own house so that i can freely put her inside my own room and let her sleep beside me on my bed.. i hope she's fine right now inside that big box with other staff toys..

i lost my bestfriend..

it was taken during our review on one of Dr. Clemente's lecture.. i'm with ate she.. she's been with me since 102 duty.. our age gap was never a hindrance for us to become close.. she's seven years older than me, a registered med.tech, but decided to study nursing.. our friendship was way too far from our other groupmates.. she's been my bestfriend.. she knows me too well, as much as i know her..

i never imagined our friendship would end this soon.. we got into some kind of misunderstanding.. actually, my fault they said.. she said something that hurt me.. but for me, it was nothing.. i respected her so much.. i guess i looked up to her as my big sister.. for me, her words are not intented to hurt my feelings but it's just a piece of advice.. i was the one who said sorry.. but she said that she can no longer bring back the closeness that we have.. she wants me out of her life.. i insisted that whatever happens didn't affect me at all.. i told her that i already forgot what she said and that it was nothing for me.. but she also insisted that we have to part ways.. since i can't do nothing about it, i decided to separate from my friends.. we have the same circle of friends that's why i avoided them all.. not because i hate them but because i know that she wants me out of her life.. i can't do that if i still join them..

well i guess that's how life goes.. sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.. sometimes they left you behind, sometimes it's you who left.. i hope nothing like this will happen again in the near future.. im afraid that if something like this ever happen again, i might get trauma and avoided to have a new friend..

nothing lasts forever..

this was the first book of sidney sheldon that i've read.. i never imagined that i can finished this one in just two days,.. most of the time, when im reading a novel, it would took me a month before I finished it.. either i would fall asleep while reading the novel or just get tired of it.. but this one's really different.. i can easily relate with the story cause in the first place it was in a hospital setting.. and second was there's no page in this book that you'll get bored.. it's really amazing.. and while reading his book, i can tell literally that i can't just put it down though i have something to do.. i hope everyone can get the chance of reading his books.. so great!

the long wait is over.. :)

6 more days to go,... GRADUATION DAY.. it really feels great to see my name on the lists of the students who will be graduating for march 2008 batch..

well, it isn't really easy to be one of them.. lots of hard works.. lots of sacrifices.. lots of lack of sleep.. lots of encouragement from other people when things seems to go wrong.. and most of all, lots of prayer whom i really depend on..

four years was over.. im happy? happy will underestimate my feelings.. i really feel great..

congrats fellow students.. see you on our graduation... :)

i made it! yipeeee!!

after two months of review and two days of comprehensive examination, the long wait was finally over.. yesterday, the result was released..

since december, we do nothing but attend several reviews for this comprehensive exam.. what's the purpose of this exam? to know if you are competent enough to be a candidate for the graduation..

last tuesday (feb. 19) and wednesday (feb. 20), we took the exam.. it was a 500 item sets of exam.. the passing score was 75 %.. and yesterday (thursday, feb. 21) was the released of the result..

around 6 in the evening, the result was posted at pjp building 5th floor.. i was so damn nervous.. we were at the dorm, and no one dared to talk.. we waited until 8 pm before we decided to go to the building to see if we either passed the exam or if we have to take the removals.. literally, while walking, my knees are shaking.. and though it was really noisy, i swear i can hear every beats of my heart.. so damn nervous.. it was the 1st time that i really felt this nervous.. (take note: it is not yet the board exam.. )

after long time of walking, we finally arrived at the building.. and what's worst before i saw the result? i saw lots of students who are crying.. damn! i hate seeing them.. i swear i prayed for every 4th year student who took the exam, though i don't know them personally.. :(

back to the result, i saw it! and i made it! yipeee... it was a good feeling to see my name on the list of those who passed because i really worked hard for it.. and i don't get any help from my friends.. it was the knowledge that God gave to me.. :)


congrats fellow students who passed the exam.. soar high fatimanians.. :P

LOST

As I wake up at the darkness of the night
No one to feel my touch;
As gravity pull down the tears in my eyes
No one to caress my back.

Alone in the corner of my room,
Safe from being fooled.
Trying to escape from the crowded place,
Being annoyed by people of your palce.

My decision is not easy.
Broken is a damn thing.
It's not the way to lessen the pain.
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.

finally..

who the hell told you that you cannot make your own decisions?

finally i am free.. free from those people who do nothing but manipulate me.. i am on my own now.. nothing to worry.. no rules to follow.. no one, but me! after so many years, i felt free again..

is this really what life means? do i really have to go back to that thing again and listen to people around me who knew nothing about what's really happening? or do i have to stand with my own decision and if ever i fail (AGAIN), blame no one but myself? i guess, i would choose the latter.. i don't care whether i would fail or i would get hurt.. as long as i am free and no one to manipulate me, i am happy!

happy to know that no one tries to drive my own life.. it is my life, i should drive it!.. i don't care if people don't understand me.. i dont need to explain anything.. it is my life..

finally, it is the time to be happy..

try out..

just trying this thing out.. tagal na din since i last posted a blog.. nakakamiss.. but somehow it's good to create a new blog for a new life.. enough from the past.. it won't do no good.. and it's finally over.. right now, i want to run my own life.. no more manipulating.. no more opinions.. no more decisions from them.. just me and my mind.. let's see how my mind run my own life.. how will it end? nobody can tell.. it's just between me and my mind.. no one to blame but me.. and it's good.. it felt good..