today, i realized i made a lot of mistakes. A LOT! feeling ko ang sama sama ko. ang sakit pala no? yung matagal mong tinatanggi sa sarili mo, one day aaminin mo din. aaminin mo din that everything wasn't right not because of anybody else but because of yourself. that you let a long time pass trying to ignore everything but eventually yun din yung mismong lalapit sayo to let you know how stupid were you and how stupid are still you. ngayon ko nga naisip, how i wsih i have the same power as that of the vampires, (well yung sa the vampire diaries yung tinutukoy ko) that they can shut off the pain, or their humanity. sana may ganun din ako. so that after tonight's experience, tomorrow i can smile again. that i can face another day guilt-free. pero wala ako nun eh. and what i do know is that everything will going to change when i get home. i don't know what it is but i know something's gonna change. and i wasn't sure if i am ready for this. :(