not-so-cool experience

And so I attended the 14th Worker's General Assembly of our church. The whole night was actually fun. A lot of my friends were surprised by my arrival. Even siguro si Marci hindi ineexpect na dadating ako. Lumapit pa sya sakin tas sabi niya welcome home daw. He even extended his hands and offer me a handshake which is a little awkward for me pero tinanggap ko naman para di ako magmukhang bastos. Then Jessa took a photo of us, (the one below). The said photo was uploaded in Jessa's facebook account. di ko na sana papansin eh, but if you could read the comment below, you can't blame me for feeling this way. YES, I AM MAD! you see, my name was mentioned 3 times in the comment box by my friends. TAKE NOTE: they are my friends. hindi ko alam kung anong gusto nilang palabasin, pero iba kasing dating sakin eh. napahiya ako. to think that facebook is a social network where everything is visible to everybody! yung pakiramdam na ako yung naghahabol kay marci? sige, ipagpalagay na natin na alam ng lahat ng kaibigan ko na mahal ko siya, pero diba when you're friends, you should protect each other and not hurt each other? naiiyak ako sa nangyaring to.

Daydreamer

I've made it not for fun but for the sake of telling everyone how much I love the guy beside me. fine. he doesn't feel the same way, but i still love him just the same.

sending LOVE at Christmas time

Pasko naman diba?

(without second thought...)

Me: (dialing Marci's number)

(connected..)

Me: hello..

Him: ang mahal naman nito, long distance pa.. Hello thess..

me: hi.. pwede kay Xiane? (and i was just thinking, pano nya kaya nalaman na ako yung tumatawag..)

him: ayy, tulog na sya eh..

me: ganun? sayang di ko sya naabutan na gising..

him: alam mo ba kung anong oras na dito?

me: yep 11pm.. kala ko lang kasi maabutan ko pa syang gising..

him: maaga daw kasi sila bukas, punta silang tagaytay kaya maaga natulog..

me: ah ganun ba?

him: oo, nagluto nga lang din dito sa bahay eh.

me: ah, anong niluto nyo?

him: dinuguan saka tapa. alam mo naman na hindi ko kinakain yun..

me: ah oo nga hehe.

him: gift ko pala?

me: ano bang gusto mo?

him: isa lang ang gusto ko.. hehe

me: except Mac Pro.

him: yun lang gusto ko eh. hehe joke lang yun.

me: except yun. hehe

him: joke lang.. hehe

me: sila kuya arnel lang naman malakas ang loob magsabi ng gift. ikaw hindi.

him: wag na ok lang hehe.

me: pm mo na lang ako pag may naisip ka na hehe except mac pro. haha o sige na, ba-bye na ha?

him: uhmm sige, Merry Christmas thess. kahit alam kong walang Christmas dyan.

me: Merry Christmas din. meron naman Christmas dito. wala nga lang Sunday Service.

him: ah ganun ba. uhm yun nga walang service.

me: meron pag friday, wala lang pag sunday.

him: ah ganun?

me: uhm sige, babye na.

him: Merry Christmas ulit.

me: Merry Christmas.

him: salamat sa tawag thess.

me: ok..

him: bye.

now what? c'mon! it's Christmas. I wanted to be happy. And hearing his voice would definitely make me happy. pagbigyan nyo na ko, wala naman kayong magagawa kasi tapos na diba? :)

at around 11pm here (3am in the Philippines) he posted something on my facebook timeline.

"Merry Christmas"

and indeed, it was a merry merry Christmas for me! :)

me and you

this photo was taken last november 6, 2011, two Sundays before I leave the Philippines. I left Blossom in the Multimedia room and when I came back, his laptop's beside mine and so i took some shots. :)

Mesmerized

and so i was mesmerized. i was stunned for a couple of minutes when i saw his updated display picture in facebook.

Beloved

after posting my blog about Jedidiah, i went to check on my facebook account. i decided to update my status kaso wala akong maisip.. tungkol pa din kay Jedidiah yung naiisip ko. maybe because i was wishing that the Lord will call me that name too. so then i wrote this:

sana JEDIDIAH din ang tawag sakin ni Lord nung pinanganak ako. :)

mark arias liked my status. we had some comment/chat asking kung bakit maaga kami nagising. and then another notification appeared.

Marci Sang-olan commented on your status. "Beloved.."

at syempre di ko ineexpect na may manggugulo. haha.

marci: Beloved..

mark: at sino naman si "Beloved"? haha

marci: haha.. pangalan ni Solomon (Jedidiah) yun bro.. 2 Samuel 12:25

mark: i know that kuya.. =) parang may iba pa kasing Jedidiah si thess eh. =P

marci: ewan..

wala lang. medyo kinilig lang ako.. haha pareho yata kami ng naisip ni mark, feeling ko tinawag akong beloved ni marci. haha. pero syempre hindi totoo yun.. see his reactions?

he's giving me pre-ventricular contraction!

after so many months, yep, he's still giving me that feeling.. HE'S MAKING MY HEART BEAT SKIP! nakakatawa nga eh, wala naman syang ginawa kundi mangamusta diba? yun lang. and told me that he's praying daw na magkaron ako ng madaming insight while staying here, pero yung heart beat ko kakaiba. i though my heart flutters. gusto kong sumigaw sa sobrang kilig! halaaaaa!

Scrapbook

these are the photos of the scrapbook that i gave to marci before leaving the Philippines. just wanna clear things out, i am not imitating the movie "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" where the guy also gave his secret crush a scrapbook before leaving their city. i already planned this thing before the movie came out. im just waiting for the right timing of when im gonna give it to him but i can't find one. was waiting for his birthday and make it a present but then my plane ticket was scheduled two weeks after his birthday so i decided to wait for that day before i finally give it. i don't wanna see his reaction because i was thinking that he might not wanna like it. i gave it on the last night before my flight. i got what i wanted, give it to him without seeing his reactions. just put inside his bag where i found open in the multi room. good thing he was nowhere to be found hehe.

Usapang Last Day

wala naman akong ginawa masyado. nung hapon umattend ako ng medical fellowship. i give thanks for what the Lord has done for me and bid my farewell as well. ang sinabi ko bakasyon lang naman ang reason kaya ako aalis, a part of it was true kasi tourist visa lang naman ang meron ako, i didn't tell them that i am going to look for a job here in dubai. pero kahit ganun yung sinabi ko di pa din maiwasan na hindi umiyak. feeling ko kasi matatagal talaga akong mawawala and mamimiss ko ang medical family. masyado akong naging dependent sa presence nila sa buhay ko. maybe because i longed so much for a family and they were the one who filled that longing. kaya ang hirap magpaalam.

after the fellowship uuwi na ko dapat, nung pumasok ako sa Multi room nandun si Tim (anak ni nanay carol so basically dapat kapatid ko sya.) sabi niya sakin "ano ba yan, aalis ka na lang at lahat di ka man lang nagpaSB."(starbucks) sabi ko wala akong budget kasi nga aalis ako. when i went out biglang nagyaya si Leslie mag SB, treat daw niya. eh naisip ko bigla si Tim so pumasok ako sa Admin room and nagyaya ako sabi ko treat ko sa mga gustong sumama. hehe. people in there were kuya kim, kuya arnel, tim, firmo and marci. lahat sasama except for marci. maybe naisip nya na hindi sya welcome kasi hindi kami in good terms during that time. pumasok si marci ng multi room and i went after him. silang dalawa ni kuya aladen ang nandun.

me: kuya aladen sama ka?

kuya aladen: san?

me: SB. treat ko.

kuya aladen: sige.

me: marci, ikaw sama ka?

marci: pwede ba?

me: oo naman. :)

while walking, si kuya arnel, kuya kim at firmo yung mga kausap ko.. pagdating namin sa SB, last kami pumasok ni firmo, hindi ko alam kung sinadya nila pero the only vacant seat for me eh yung sa tabi ni marci. hindi din naman kami nag usap actually. tatlong beses ko nga lang narinig na ako ung kinausap nya. first nung tinanong ko sya kung anong pastries ang gusto nya at sumagot sya ng "ikaw na lang yung bahalang mag-order para sakin" honestly, hindi ko alam kung sinusubukan nya lang ba kung until now eh alam ko pa din yung mga favorite nya or itatry ko orderin yung mga dating inoorder nya pag magkasama kami. second nung picture taking na and they decided to take some photos of me and marci ang sabi nya na pabulong "ngiti ka naman". and third nung nag-uwian na kami ang sabi nya "salamat thess."

sabi ni leslie nung naglalakad daw sila, nagtanong si marci kung aalis daw ba talaga ako, she said yes and marci again asked her, "bakit ang bilis?" leslie didn't know how to answer that so she decided not to. baka daw kasi masabi niya "bakit di mo tanungin ang sarili mo kung bakit aalis si thess?"

anyways, here are some of the pictures taken during that time.. these are just the sneak preview.. all photos are uploaded on the Last Day page. :)

i wish he'd look at me, the way he's looking at you

BREAKING NEWS: Typhoon Ruby was nowhere to be found!

the storm has ended, and a child was born. if that is so, then he is a survivor. God must have loved him that much that even in his natal day, God chooses the time when everything's calm and peaceful. God didn't allow Ruby (the typhoon during that time) to be a hinder in his delivery. He must be special in God's eyes. -well, these are just my opinions the way i see things, i wasn't even there in the first place, and definitely the Creator's thoughts are far higher than mine.

And for that one special child, a survivor of the storm, i pronounce blessings upon you, the good Lord in heaven will bless all the works of your hands. You and your family will prosper. The Lord will bless you beyond your imaginings. I rebuke all the works of evil in your life. Nothing will harm you for you are protected by your Father in heaven, the God of your ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You have said in Your word Lord God that whoever believes in Christ is a descendant of Abraham and will receive what God has promised (Galatians 3:29) and now, i claim it, that this child will receive all the desires of his heart that is according to Your will. I pray that this child of Yours will not lose that fire in his heart to serve you more and more. May his words, and his life continue to glorify Your name. Be magnified Lord. Be glorified. In Jesus Christ Mighty name. Amen.