Balik-Tanaw 2011

dahil hindi pa ko masyadong nakakamove-on sa 2011, tara samahan nyo ko, balik-tanaw tayo. :)

`sa pinakaunang araw ng taong ito, kina marci ako nagcelebrate ng new year. pero wala kaming picture. i mean nandun sa tito nya, hindi ko nakuha hehe.

`sa taong ito din, first time ko makaattend ng prayer and fasting sa COG Jabez. grabe yung feeling! (at habang ginagawa ko tog entry na to, eh prayer and fasting na ulit ng COG for 2012, syempre i'm going to participate ulit kahit wala ko dun hihi.)

`sa taong ito, first time ko din ma invite sa Worker's General Assembly. hindi kasi lahat nabibigyan ng chance na makapunta dun.

`sa taong ito, sinabi niya na mahal nya daw ako, naging kami din, saka first kiss. at sa taong ito din kami naghiwalay. sad no? :( muntik na din mawala samin yung pinakamamahal namin na ministry. buti na lang the Lord has been so good and gave us enough wisdom to determine what's right and wrong, then enough courage to stand on what we believe in. for that, i Praise GOD!

`sa taong ito, mas naging active ako sa medical ministry. ang dami daming medical missions at sobrang blessed na blessed ako every time nakakasama ako. ang wish ko na lang, ngayong 2012, sa WEYJ mission naman ako makasama. hehe

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`sa taong ito, ang dami dami ding Medical bonding.. one of the best blessing of the Lord is the fellowship with your co-servant.

`sa taong ito, sumali din ako sa Multimedia Ministry. si james ang leader ko, at team Shalom ang group namin. I witness how the love of the Lord manifests to young people, and i was blessed at the same time. naranasan ko yung schedule na 5am service lalo na nung umpisa kasi gusto kong magpractice at gusto ko maperfect yung ginagawa ko hehe. and the Lord sustains me. :)

`Kung madaming bonding/fellowship ang Medical, madami ding fellowship ang team Shalom. hehe. papahuli ba naman kami? syempre hindi! daming iyakan moments. may pagkakatampuhan minsan pero sa huli, kami kami pa din talaga ang magkakapatid. :)

`sa taong ito, mas naging close ko si ate nori, firmo, leslie, james, migs, jessa at tj. sila halos yung palagi kong kasama at nakakaalam ng mga kwneto kwento ng buhay ko. hehe.

`sa taong ito, mas naging close din kami ni steph at jeck. nakakatuwa kasi pinagkakatiwalaan nila ako ng mga secrets nila.

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`sa taong ito, mas napamahal sakin sina nanay sharon. grabe naman kasi yung love ng family nila sakin. si tatay, si nhizey, si blessy, si dotti at lalong lalo na ang bunso namin, si jonel. parang in an instance nagkaron ako ng isang buong pamilya! I cannot express my gratitude to the Lord dahil sa family nila.

`sa taong ito, nagkaron pa ko ng isa pang nanay. si nanay carol. isa pa tong si nanay. kala mo totoong anak ako kung ituring. sobrang lambing! nakakalungkot sabihin to pero yung hinahanap ko sa mama ko, kay nanay ko nakita. ang sarap sarap pa magluto ni nanay carol!

`sa taong ito, mas naramdaman ko yung pagiging malayo namin ng mommy ko. i know i disappoint her so much. naaawa na nga ako sa kanya eh, for having me as her child. feeling ko kawawa sya masyado kasi akong naging anak nya. :(

`sa taong ito, nagkabati na kami ng daddy ko. hurray!!! ang tagal din namin hindi nag-usap eh..

`sa taong ito, 2nd time ko makapunta ng baguio with hazel and mimi. yung 1st time ko kasi oras lang tinagal ko sa baguio eh, pero this time nag stay kami ng 3 days kina baby jean. saya!! plan namin, vigan naman next time. hanap ulit kami free accommodation. hehe :)

`sa taong ito first time ko magtampo ng sobra kay firmo. at sana nga lahat ng lalaki katulad niya. marunong tumanggap ng pagkakamali at marunong magsorry. sobrang natouched ako nung hindi siya tumigil sa paghingi ng sorry. syempre hindi ko din naman balak patagalin yung away namin, but im so glad kung pano niya tinanggap ang pagkakamali niya. at higit sa lahat may napatunayan ako: pag galit ka, naiinis, at humihingi ka ng sorry, napapa-english ka ng hindi oras! haha.

`sa taong ito, mas minahal ko ang tumblr, blogspot at twitter. hehe. at lahat sila hindi connected sa facebook account ko so i must say, there's a little privacy over them kaya mas mahal ko sila. masyado na kasing naging stalker-friendly ang facebook. wala ng challenged sa mga stalker haha. saka masyado na syang nakakasakit, kahit ayaw mong makita wala kang choice kasi nandun lang sya sa gilid diba, lahat ng activities makikita mo. at hindi ko alam kung nananadya ang fb pero pag bukas ko lagi na lang pinakauna yung status nya kung meron man. haaay.

`sa taong ito, nahanap ko ulit ang blogs ni ma'am abie na ilang taon ko hinanap.. pati yung fb account nya na hindi ko naman ma-add kasi nakaprivate, kahit message hindi ko din magawa.

`sa taong ito, naging tatay ko si tatay bong, at mas naging close ako sa mga taga audio or sounds and light ministry..

`sa taong ito, mas naging close ko pa si ate kres. nagkaron din kami ng accountability chat and prayer partner na kami.. i learned so much from her. feeling ko nga mentor ko na din sya..

`sa taong ito, minahal ko si Josh Duhamel ng bongga. as in! ilang beses ko na pinanood ang movies nya, dinownload para may sarili akong copy. haay love him much. :)

`sa taong ito din ako unang nakasakay ng airplane. kasama ko si malkolito. pumunta kami ng dubai. (actually habang ginagawa ko tong blogs na to eh nasa dubai pa din kami.)

`sa taong ito, syempre nakagala ako sa dubai. haha :)

`sa kahuli-hulihang araw ng taong ito, may nagsabi sakin na selfish ako.

Kiss and Make up

inaway ko sya. inaway nya ko. i think it's pretty normal for friends to argue or quarrel. as long as at the end of the day, they'll forgive each other, make up for the mistakes and pain they brought toward each other and  forget everything that happened. 

ang agang pang-aaway ko oh! haha

he used the account of kuya A. oo nga naman, sya nga lang pala tumatawag sakin ng bebe sa multi hehe..

finally natapos din ang pag-iinarte ko haha. :)

direct message in twitter. ^_^

imiss cluster A

Dear Lord, thank you for friends who warm my life with their smiles. I pause to look back at days made more enjoyable, loneliness more bearable because of their companionship. Thank you for their honesty when I cannot be honest with myself, for letting me grow in my own time and for respecting my feelings. Thank You for the gift of friendship. and thank You for their lives that has been so much of a blessing for me.

Hey, You're Hurting Me. (just so you know)

That awkward moment when you think you're important to someone, but you're not.

-oh i hate such feelings. and i am actually feeling it now. it wasn't the first time though at hindi lang sa iisang tao ko to naramdaman. hindi ko alam kung may nakasabit sa leeg ko ng: "friends tayo pero dapat hide mo lang yung friendship natin".

i don't wanna be a cry baby but i am definitely not okay right now. i don't know what i did wrong or what i say wrong but someone just keeps on making me feel that i am less important and it's hurting me. oh geez!! and i am crying again? is it for real? seriously??

is it late to have a Christmas wishlist? (they say, everyday it is Christmas anyway)

here's mine:

i wanna meet someone who would not be ashamed that i am his friend.

speaking of which, am i UGLY? am i a whore? am i not worthy to be friend? napansin ko lang, meron akong ibang "kaibigan ko daw" who would act different when we were with a crowd and when we were alone. pag ikaw lang ang kasama they would act as if you are a princess and that you are very much special and blah blah blah pero pag marami ka ng kasama, they would just ignore your presence. what's wrong with you?? can't you just act normal?? is there anything wrong with me hanging around you? if that is so, eh di wag nyo akong kaibiganin. it's not hard to do. geez! you're just my friend so don't act as if boyfriend ko kayo ng patago because you are not!! and stop telling me that i am important because your action suggests a different story. :(

hazeline bianca

happy birthday to my dearest friend and sister bianca. my review days wouldn't be that happy without her. true enough, friendship can't be measured by the longest time you spent together, but during those times that you've been for each other, it maybe happy times or sad, up or down, as long as you are there, you have proven your worth as a friend. thank you hazeline bianca, i've been much stronger and braver because of you. :)

Only After Marriage

i don't condemn any race from all over the world really. i don't think that someone has the right to say that a certain group of people are racist. for me, it's a no-no. i believe that we are created equally and fairly by our Creator.

but of course, i can have an opinion to other races, i think i am entitled to that. and from my past experiences, especially through the social network, indians are not included to those i wanted to be friends with. they are very much vocal when it comes to sex and i find it irritating and disrespectful.

that's another reason why staying here in dubai is not on the top of my list. i know for a fact that most of the populations here, except for arabic and pakistanis, are indians. and there's a higher percentage of talking to them everyday than not. and i hate that.

but as they say, things do change. a friend of mine has a 26 year old indian friend. he once went in the place where we lived and stayed there for a night. they drink til dawn. questions and answers were everywhere maybe to get to know each other better. and a part which cannot be forgotten is this one:

guy: i am not yet ready. (for sex). i am a virgin.

friend: when are you going to be ready for it?

guy: ONLY AFTER MARRIAGE.

it is true. not all indians are sex maniac. haha. i was glad that my friend's friend wasn't included to those people. at least i know he's different. and that he stands for what he believed in even if people will laugh at him.

*salute to that indian guy! i didn't get the chance of meeting him because i don't drink and just managed to stay in my bed, blogging. :)

Blog Title

"Let no one speak after my last heart beat."

it wasn't my idea actually. i get it from a friend who's very very dear to me. this was written to her "ABOUT ME" in friendster. may kadugtong pa nga yan actually, "morbid? that's me." she was the one who taught me how to do blogs. sya ang may kasalanan kung bakit from 2006 eh nagrarant na ko through writing. haha. hindi naman nya ko personally and intentionally tinuruan mag blogs. nagkataon lang na nabanggit nya yung blogsite nya and from then on nasanay na ko na paghaharap ko sa computer, isa yung blog site niya sa automatic na binubuksan ko. i fell in love with blogging and tried doing it.

my first site was childishheart04, because way back then i was really childish and knew it by heart, but dediced to delete it. para kasing napaka nonsense ng mga pinagsususulat ko dun. madami pang sumunod dun. di ko na nag matandaan yung iba. then came leaveitdead. don't know why i come up to that address. can't think of a blog title for that site, hanggang sa bigla kong naisip yung nabasa ko sa about me section ni ma'am beegee sa fs. and there, nilagay ko. wala naman sigurong copywrite yun hehe.

then 3 days ago, leaveitdead became thessiiieeeee. why? maybe because i became matured somehow and learned that leaving something as if it doesn't exist isn't the right thing after all. i learned the hard way. but im just glad that this site (though the name was changed) is still here. still here, waiting for me to write again.

one-hour phone call..

last sunday (march 15, 2009) i received a text message from kuya arjay..

kuya arjay: tes may landline ba dyan sa house nyo?
me: yup, 4892051
kuya arjay: pwede tumawag? may gusto ko sabihin sayo..
me: sure po..

after a few minutes he called.. it was kinda unusual because it's almost a year since we last had our long conversation.. good thing, i still remember his voice.. hehe..

anyways, the phone call lasted for more than an hour.. it was barely a "kamustahan-thing" until we got to the real reason for that call..

he stated AGAIN his problem.. (actually, it wasn't the first time that he do that..) when i heard it, it left me with no choice but to be mad.. haha.. i guess that's the reason why he loves calling me everytime he has a problem.. he knows that i will be affected that much..

pag tungkol kasi kay kuya arjay, ibang usapan na yun. i think no one has the right to hurt his feelings.. when i said no one, you will not be an exception.. para sakin kasi masyadong vulnerable si kuya.. and simula nung makilala ko sya parang inappoint ko na yung sarili ko na maging savior and protector nya.. (funny, that's how he called me)

i'm not going to post here his problems, cause it is too personal, but i wanna post here the text message i got from him after that talked..

kuya arjay: ikaw una kong naisip nung dumating sakin yang problem na yan.. ikaw lang makausap ko at marinig ko lang ung point of view mo, solve na ko tes.. thank u thess..

hehe.. i love kuya arjay.. feeling ko nga soulmate ko sya..not in the romantic side.. but much deeper.. ung hindi kayang sirain ng kahit sino or kahit ano..

what's with the date?

june 22.. june 22 na pala.. i remember gerry castillo.. my bestfriend.. my so-called-bestfriend.. my "mhineybhest".. we should be celebrating our 5th year anniversary as bestfriends..

i miss him.. dami na kasing nagbago eh.. we're no longer the "teenager-bestfriends-of-all-time".. hanggang ngayon may tampo pa din ako sa kanya.. he's been my first love.. supposed to be my "only love" kung naalagaan lang.. kaso hindi eh..

since grade 5 minahal ko na si gerry.. sa picture ko pa lang sya nakita nun.. that time, 1st year high school na sya.. palagi akong tumatambay sa labas ng gate ng school namin pag malapit ng mag flag ceremony sa high school at pag malapit na mag 1 pm.. yan kasi yung mga time na dumadating si gerry.. palagi kasi syang late.. kala ko simpleng infatuation lang yung nararamdaman ko sa kanya, kasi nagkakaron din naman ako ng ibang mga crushes kaso yung kanya talaga yung di nawala..

nung mag highschool na ko, lalo ko sya nagustuhan.. cute kasi sya eh.. tahimik.. and matalino.. after ng graduation nya, dun kami naging close.. gumawa talaga ako ng paraan nun.. araw araw ko sya sinusulatan.. hanggang yun, nabuo ung friendship na di ko ineexpect.. kaso syempre mahal ko sya nung mga time na yan, so i want a relationship more than what we have.. kaso sabi nga ng iba, di daw natuturuan ung puso, in short di nya ko talaga kayang mahalin.. after nun, nagkaron na sya ng gf.. tanggap ko naman sana yun kahit masakit eh.. kaso dun kami talaga nagkalayo ng tuluyan.. and the last time we talked, siguro last year lang yun, nag-away kami,.. ayun, hanggang ngayon di na naayos,,. parang bigla nawala yung ilang years na pinagsamahan namin..

i miss him..

i miss my bestfriend..

happy 5th year friendship anniversary mhineybhest.. :(

comment from yam..

hi ervybody this is my yamyam..
ive known her since elementary.. that time she was the most cutest girl in school(ndi s ndi n xa cute ngayun).. anyweiz, nong 1st yir kami naging close kami lalo, kc nabuo ung barkada nmin nila ronald.. after graduation ng HS, nag iCp ako ng way para lng mag ka communication kami.. i pretend i want to learn ano ung feeling ng my gf, kaya i told her since wala p xa bf mag panggap nlng kami n kami muna tlga.. little did she know plan ko lng yun para mapalapit s knya lalo! (GALING KO TLAGA) eventually we became more than friends.. and boy i was happy! (wahihi).. until the day we broke up (men that hurts).. pinag hinalaan nya ko ng kung ano2 kc d ako nakapag xplain, for almost 3 yrs nwala communication nmin.. pero ngayun ayos n ulit kami as friends! i wont loose her twice in my lifetime..

tnx s friendship..
be happy..
be strong..

im always here..

respectfully yours,
yam

thank you!

enough of my heart-tearing love story.. now, I'm going to pay tribute to those people who never really left me.. those who were with me the time that I'm almost losing my sanity.. here they go:

YAM
vitorio chavez.. my yam.. meaning ng yam? (You Are Mine) hehehe.. sya yung ready makipagpuyatan sa kin para lang madivert yung attention ko.. he knows me when I'm faking my smile.. and he knows kung kelan ko kelangan ng makikinig sa kin.. kasama ko sya nung pinatumba namin yung isang accounting graduate.. hahaha.. di ko makakalimutan yung time na yun.. magkakampi kami eh.. sabagay, kahit naman saang bagay kakampi ko sya.. palagi lang syang nandyan para sa kin.. without him? yeah, i will be happy.. but with him? my happiness will have it's meaning..

BLOODZ
james darell alcantara.. my bloodz.. bakit bloodz? gangstah daw kasi kami.. hehehe.. he's been my classmate since grade 1.. hanggang 4th year high school magkasama kami.. (same with yam).. sya yung nagsabi sa kin ng "kapag pinaiyak ka ni rob, sabihin mo lang sa kin, ready ako kalimutan yung 4 years na pinagsamahan namin.. di ko pagpapalit yung 10 years na friendship natin.." hahaha, mayabang pakinggan pero sobrang nakakatouch! sya din ung binubulabog ko ng madaling araw pag umiiyak ako.. though he's really sleepy, pinipilit nya bumangon para lang pakinggan yung pag-iyak ko.. lumalabas pa sya ng house nila kasi walang signal sa room nya.. hehehe.. 4 years na walang communication sa kanya didn't change my life.. but, now that we're together again, happiness has never left me..

CRACKERZ
reggie alfhon ilandag.. my crackerz.. he's been with me since grade 6.. may pagkamayabang pero never ka naman nya iiwanan sa ere.. though hindi nya masyadong alam yung nangyari sa kin ngayon, palagi naman syang nandyan para magbigay ng advice.. he always tell me how important i am and palagi nya sinasabi sa kin how much i worth for him.. kahit di kami palaging nagkikita, hindi naman nawawala yung closeness namin.. my crackerz will always be my crackerz..

NHEY
jaycar este.. nhey ko.. (short for honey).. sabi nila nung 2nd year high school kami (yan yung time na lumipat sya sa school) naging crush na daw nya ko agad.. hehehe.. ngayon ko lang yun nalaman.. ang manhid ko ba? hehehe.. sabi kasi niya, nung time daw na manliligaw sya sa kin, naunahan sya ni gerald.. waaah,, medyo nakakabaliw yung confession nya.. kasi naman tropa talaga kami eh.. nag-aaway pa nga kami dati with this "industrialized-thing" (sana natatandaan nya pa)anyway, la din sya alam sa nangyayari ngayon sa kin, gusto nya kasi pag-usapan namin ng personal.. pero sobrang thankful ako sa kanya kasi sobrang napapasaya nya din ako talaga.. palagi nya pa ko pinagpepray.. and that's the most important thing he had gave me..

MICH
michelle dayday.. my cousin.. kahit di sya masyado nagbibigay ng comment tungkol sa mga nangyayari, sya naman yung kasama ko hanggang madaling araw.. nagkaron kami dati ng gap eh, pero ngayong naayos na daig pa namin magsister.. sobrang close.. minsan nga may mga nakukwento ako sa kanya na hindi alam ng kapatid ko.. ganyan kami kaclose.. being with her, grabe, sobrang nakakawindang.. ang hobby namin? magpuyat gang 2 am para lang magkwentuhan.. may mga times pa nga na pag maaga kami pinapatulog, bumababa pa din kami ng 12 am para lang kumain at magkwentuhan.. sa kanila kasi kami nakatira ngayon.. di kumpleto araw namin pag di kami nakapagtsismisan.. :)

SHE
sherry bell espineli.. my sis.. syempre kung close kami ni mich close din kami ng sis ko.. dalawa na nga lang kami tapos hindi pa kami close diba? ang panget naman nun.. between us, mas matured sya mag-isip.. kahit humawak ng pera, mas magaling sya.. pag kinocompare ako sa kanya, di ako nasasaktan.. unlike yung ibang magkapatid.. ang point ko kasi, magkapatid kami and walang reason para magalit sa kanya.. totoo naman kasi talaga na mas matured sya mag-isip at mas magaling sya maghandle ng situation.. hindi kasi sya padalos-dalos eh.. mag-iisip muna sya bago gumawa ng move,.. hehehe.. dati nga may theory kami ng kadorm namin na si badet.. ang sabi namin si she naman talaga yung panganay kaso nung dapat mabubuo na si she, akala ko magkakarera kami, eh since mataba si she naunahan ko sa pagtakbo kaya ako yung unang nabuo.. hahahaha.. astig diba?. ganda ng theory namin ni badet..

meron pang dalawang tao na hindi ako iniwan.. si jheng at si bhestbud mai.. kaso la ko mahanap na pics nila kaya wala ko malagay dito..

anyways, to these people, THANK YOU GUYS.. thank you for not leaving me.. and thank you for being with me in times of trouble.. di ko man mapakita how much you guys mean to me, sobrang pinahahalagahan ko po talaga kayo...

no chance for explanation..

Vitorio Chavez.. M.u M.U-han kami nung 1st year college hehe.. 6 months naging kami.. naghiwalay kami kasi nawalan kami ng communication.. ngayon na lang kami nabigyan ng chance na maging malapit ulit.. and ngayon lang nabigay sa kin yung explanation na matagal ko ng iniintay.. he texted me last april 13 para nga ibigay yung explanation na kinukulit ko sa kanya sice we became friends again.. here it goes:

contradict sa sinasabi mo kay jenilyn na one month ako di nagparamdam sayo, one week lang tayo di nakapagusap kundi man eh 1 week and 1 day siguro.. and sa 1 week na yun, WALA ako tinext o tinawagan, siguro nung nasa akin pa cp ko before ko isanla, un nakatext ko si jenifer.. well here goes my story..

nakwento ko na ba sayo dati na may sakit papa ko? bata pa lang sya nasa kanya na yun, may mga bukol sya sa iba't ibang parts ng katawan nya.. nung 2004 september na sched sya for surgery, kasi we found out na may bukol na din sa loob ng right ear nya.. it bleeds kapag gumagalaw sya masyado.. sa clinic sya nagwowork so may discount sya dun sa surgery, yung papadala nya for october nabawasan kasi nga ginamit nya din.. yung money na pinadala nya kulang, almost half lang ng normal na padala nya.

sinubukan ng mama ko na pagkasyahin yun pero eventually naubos din agad, almost half month pa lang ng october nun, ang ginawa ng mama ko nanghiram sya sa kung kanikanino ng pera para lang may magastos, she asked me kung pwede ko muna isangla yung cp ko non, ayoko pumayag kasi nga sa katapusan ko pa makukuha yun kapag sinanla.. almost everyday yung kinakain namin puro utang na.. ang naisip ko solution magdrop nalang muna ako, pero ayaw nila. 16 lang ako non thess, di ko alam kung pano ihandle yung ganong situation..

katapusan ng october non, kasi normal na padala ng papa ko tuwing 7, nagdecide ako na isanla muna yung cp ko, di ko na sinabi sa yo yung gagawin ko kasi 1 week lang naman, di ako humingi ng kahit magkano sa loob ng week na yun.. i thought kapag nakuha ko na yung cp ko tapos na explain ko na sayo you'll understand.. november 7 dumating yung padala ni papa, tapos 8 nakuha ko na yung cp ko.. i texted you nong hapon tapos nagreply ka nung gabi.. yun na nga yung nakikipagbreak ka..

i thought you'd give me a chance to explain pero the way you broke up i can tell di mo na din ako papakinggan. nung gabi na yun i felt like i made a really big mistake, i felt guilty kasi nga galit ka eh.. i wanted to talk to you para kahit pano gusto ko maging maayos tayo before we go separate ways.. i didn't wanna break up pero naisip ko, you don't deserve me thess, u deserve better, gusto ko iplease ka so bad pero love lang yung kaya kong ibigay eh.

i choosed not to tell you nalang the real reason, kasi baka kapag nalaman mo yung reason ko, parang maawa ka tapos makipagbalikan.. so i decided wag nalang muna ngayon, theres lots of guys na mas angat sa kin, na mas mabibigyan ka ng magandang relationship, and i really wanna see you happy.. u deserve it.. hirap non, almost every night i cried, yun lang magagawa ko eh.. at that time i really felt guilty sa nangyari sa tin, sayang yung friendship kaya nga gusto ko magsorry sayo non.. ngayon alam mo na ung sa friendster..

that's why daming sorry dun sa friendster ko, kulang isa eh.. and i really really loved you so much that time, gusto ko makipagbalikan pero anong mapapala mo sa kin? you'd be better off without me, tingnan mo sarili mo ngayon, you look great and happy so kahit papano di ako nagsisisi dun sa ginawa ko..

you can say that again.. it was like eating bubog for breakfast every single day.. lam mo nun, every night talaga i cry pero kapag umaga na, i wear my happy face para hindi mahalata ng mga tao yung sorrow ko.. like i said, di ako nagpapakita ng feelings ko.. di din ako nagkkwento...

yan ang story nya.. haay,, pinalagpas ko yung love nya no? sobrang nanghinayang ako sa feelings saka sa ganda ng relationship namin dati.. it was like we were bestfriends.. kapag kami magkasama sobrang comfortable.. totoo kami pareho sa mga ginagawa namin..

by the way may pahabol pa sya.. he said sa july 14 or 15, 2011 magpoproposed sya sa kin..well.... let's see..

a poem from arman..

“Thank God”

Thank God for a friend
Who’s faithful and true
Who’s gentle and wise
Who comes when I call
A friend who remains
When dreams don’t come true
A friend who’s there
When there are tears in my eyes
You’ve been such a precious
And wonderful friend
You’ve always willing to share
And offer your helping hand
You’ve been lovely
So caring and dear
You’re world is lively
Full of comfort and cheer
You’re someone special
I admire and adore
The joy when I’m with you
I can’t just imagine
Oh how I thank God
For giving me a friend like you
And I want you to know
I will never leave you…………. 



-he made it for me,, alam nya talaga kung paano ako mapapasaya.. i love him.. i really love my friend..

i lost my bestfriend..

it was taken during our review on one of Dr. Clemente's lecture.. i'm with ate she.. she's been with me since 102 duty.. our age gap was never a hindrance for us to become close.. she's seven years older than me, a registered med.tech, but decided to study nursing.. our friendship was way too far from our other groupmates.. she's been my bestfriend.. she knows me too well, as much as i know her..

i never imagined our friendship would end this soon.. we got into some kind of misunderstanding.. actually, my fault they said.. she said something that hurt me.. but for me, it was nothing.. i respected her so much.. i guess i looked up to her as my big sister.. for me, her words are not intented to hurt my feelings but it's just a piece of advice.. i was the one who said sorry.. but she said that she can no longer bring back the closeness that we have.. she wants me out of her life.. i insisted that whatever happens didn't affect me at all.. i told her that i already forgot what she said and that it was nothing for me.. but she also insisted that we have to part ways.. since i can't do nothing about it, i decided to separate from my friends.. we have the same circle of friends that's why i avoided them all.. not because i hate them but because i know that she wants me out of her life.. i can't do that if i still join them..

well i guess that's how life goes.. sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.. sometimes they left you behind, sometimes it's you who left.. i hope nothing like this will happen again in the near future.. im afraid that if something like this ever happen again, i might get trauma and avoided to have a new friend..